Menopause is the point in a woman’s life cycle when menstruation has completely ceased for twelve consecutive months, due to the natural conclusion of ovulation. At menopause, the body produces too little estrogen for ovulation to occur, so that ovulation and periods cease.
The average age of menopause is 51-52, although it is considered normal between ages 45 to 55 and may occur even earlier. Surgical removal of the ovaries (or even certain medications) will induce early menopause. If bleeding resumes at this time of life after one year without a period, a woman should be evaluated by a physician.
Menopause generally marks the end of regular mikveh immersion.
Though some women may be happy to move on from immersing in the mikveh, others are more attached to the experience. Some women might seek to immerse again, voluntarily. Others may choose to stay connected to the mitzva by getting involved in the community mikveh as a mikveh attendant, supporter, or committee member, or to otherwise contribute to women’s observance of taharat hamishpacha.
For a couple at menopause, the laws of taharat hamishpacha, which were an integral part of a marriage for years or decades, cease to determine the rhythm of their relationship. Every marriage is unique, and there is a wide variety of normal responses to this stage of life. For some couples—especially those for whom the observance of niddah in general or the perimenopause years in particular were emotionally challenging—this can be a pleasant development. For others, it can be harder to let go.
Regardless of how a couple felt about niddah, the transition to life after mikveh can also create new stresses or conflicts for them. As always, sensitivity and open communication are the keys to addressing any tension that develops. It can be worthwhile for a couple to speak directly about how they would like intimacy between them to work now that the timeframe is more open-ended.
Some couples may wish to make the time and budget to choose a new bed or bedding together, which can be a way to celebrate the change and open up discussion. A couple who opt for a bed that doesn’t separate should be sure to have a workable sleeping arrangement for times when they still halachically need to sleep separately, even after menopause, such as on Yom Kippur or during shivah—or if she becomes niddah.
