Tzniut (modesty) can be expressed in every aspect of our lives. It is not only a "dress code," but a guide for speech and behavior for both men and women that enables us to focus on a person's inner essence rather than on the material and external. So tzniut can, and should, find expression within marital intimacy – although of course it will manifest itself very differently than it does in public.

The classic rules of modest clothing, however, do not apply in the married couple's bedroom. Observant women may choose to wear the lingerie that makes them feel most attractive and comfortable, although among certain communities there may be varying expectations.

In other words, your friend might really appreciate the gift. But she may be more comfortable receiving it in private. You might consider purchasing a different, likewise meaningful gift to give publicly, and giving her the lingerie privately. Alternatively, your choice might depend on the atmosphere at the shower. Another approach would be to ask her directly before the shower, or to ask a friend in her circle if this is done.