We are so sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered and the effects it is having on you and your marriage.

We strongly believe that the way to heal and have a healthy outlook and healthy sex life is through professional counseling. If you are not currently going to individual counseling with a therapist who specializes in sexual abuse, we urge you to start up again. As hard as it is, and as frustrating as it is, do not give up on this. For yourself and for your marriage. The same goes for sex therapy/marital counseling with your husband. If you are not making progress with your current therapist, it might be worthwhile asking your doctor for a recommendation for another therapist. Do not give up hope – with a lot of hard work, more time and patience, and with the right shaliach of a therapist, you will see improvement.

You can find additional resources for therapy, support groups, and reading material at https://www.jewishcommunitywatch.org/get-help/jcw-resources/

In the meantime, we recommend exercising regularly and eating right, taking care of your body to feel good and feel strong. You should also try to work on the emotional side of your relationship, even while struggling with the physical aspect. Sit down with your husband and discuss ways you can reconnect and have a good time together. Have a date night, go for a walk together, play board games, anything that the two of you enjoy and can do together. Make sure to keep keep the lines of communication open; send a text, leave a sweet note, call each other during the day, etc.

We hope these suggestions will ease some of challenges you are facing, and pray that with counseling you will make progress and heal from the trauma you experienced.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

B’hatzlacha!