Premenstrual sensations – but no period

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February 9, 2016

Question

Thank you as ever for this amazing website and service.

My periods are generally irregular – more like 6-8 weeks apart.

I am currently waiting for my 3rd consecutive cycle of this (since coming off the pill where my cycles were of course regular) and then I am aware that I only need to keep to one of the days of separation – the onat haflaga – this makes logical sense.

After around 4 weeks (around the time I suppose that I would get my period if my cycle was regular) I begin to get mild period feelings. I just begin to feel a bit heavy, some mild muscle ache – sometimes very very mild, and on some days I am absolutely sure I am going to get my period that day, and then I don't.

My question is what I do about those days when I feel "periody" even if it is not an official day of separation? Should we be doing anything differently? Or can we carry on as normal – keeping beds together and touching, etc.

As you can imagine it leaves me feeling a little "in limbo" for quite a while so it would be good to have clarification.

Answer

If you are concerned you may get your period, but it is not an actual onat perishah, you are permitted to have physical contact since you still are tehorah. You may wish to abstain from intercourse until your status is clarified. Alternatively, you can check for any bleeding (by wiping externally with a tissue – not immediately after urinating) before engaging in intercourse. If the tissue is clear, you can go ahead with relations. If you find staining on the tissue you are not niddah; you can wait about 24 hours and try again.

There is no need to separate the beds or observe harchakot except when you are actually niddah.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

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