In memory of Chaya Mirel bat R’ Avraham

In memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

Relations while spotting after veset day
August 4, 2013

Question

I got married about a year ago and B"H got pregnant right away. After the birth I had a lot of spotting after my period. I got an internal examination and it was discovered that I had a small tear on my cervix (which was probably from the birth).

My husband has been working out of town and comes home for Shabbos. I did a bedikah for my interval last Monday and but haven't done the other bedikahs (which aren't until rosh chodesh). On Friday I think I saw possible spotting on toilet paper but didn't pay close attention to it. My husband and I were together on Shabbos. I didn't know if I should have performed a bedikah if it wasn't the designated days. I am worried that we were together when it wasn't allowed. I noticed some more blood on toilet paper today on Sunday. I think my period is coming soon. Please advise.

Answer

Mazal tov on the birth of your baby!

It can be challenging to return to hilchot niddah in cases such as yours, where there has not been much time to gain experience.

A woman is not required to perform bedikot outside of the designated days, and it is usually not advised without prior consultation with a halachic authority.

When a woman has staining that does not make her niddah, she is strictly speaking permitted to have relations. In such cases, we usually advise abstaining from relations for twenty-four hours, by which time staining has often ended or developed into a flow. This is a precaution against having a flow begin during relations, but not a halachic requirement. In your case, there is the additional possible lenient factor of the cervical tear.

Where abstaining would be difficult, as in your case when your husband is out of town during the week, a couple should rely on common sense. If you may be having light spotting, you can be careful with the precautions at the time of marital relations, outlined in our article on stains. If you suspect your period is imminent, it would still be best to abstain.

Regarding the specific question what you may have seen on toilet paper: If you follow Sephardi halachic rulings, you can disregard spotting on toilet paper. If you follow Ashkenazi halachic rulings, we follow the position that you should ideally wait about fifteen seconds after urinating before wiping. After the fact, if you waited even a few seconds (which is usually the case, unless you were in a particular hurry), you can disregard stains on toilet paper. Doubt about what you saw, or poor lighting conditions, are also grounds for leniency. You can read more on our site's article "Toilet Paper."

Based on what you write, it seems that you may have been spotting, but you were not in niddah when you had relations and did not violate halacha.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.
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