Thank you for reaching out to us.
We are sorry to hear of the stress you are experiencing around contraceptive methods, and we appreciate that you are struggling to understand these halachot.
Nearly all contraceptive methods available put more of an onus on the woman, independent of halacha. The
condom is not as
reliable a contraceptive method as a
hormonal contraceptive or an
IUD, and it can affect the feel of intercourse. For this reason, both of the other two methods are highly popular with religious and non-religious women alike, epecially in the context of marriage, where there is typically no concern for sexually transmitted disease.
The physical barrier that the condom creates between a woman and her husband also leads to the halachic constraints on using it. These constraints apply whether or not a couple already has children.
Even setting aside hormonal options and the IUD, we are not sure why the condom would be your only contraceptive option. You might find it helpful to look at the "
Family Planning" section of our site to learn more about non-hormonal contraceptive methods.
Please don't hesitate to follow up with us.
