Yashar koach on making such an impressive journey.

A classic Jewish act of repentance is the giving of tzedakah (charity) and the performing of chessed (good deeds). These mitzvot can help a person transfer feelings of regret and guilt into positive acts that actively mark religious transformation.

Additionally, in your situation, we highly encourage developing a close relationship with a rabbi or female religious teacher. He or she can help guide you to a lifestyle fully expressive of all the good within you. You can also seek guidance from your mentors regarding a positive view of sexuality, consistent with an observant lifestyle, and this may help you look forward to constructing a warm and loving relationship in the future, far removed from the past that troubles you.

Although your memories cannot be erased, with time you can learn to transform them and give them meaning, as you build upon past experiences to create the person you want to become.