Thank you very much for your kind words.
Your question is very important. We’re sorry to hear that covering your hair has become such a challenge for you. We give you a great deal of credit for your commitment to finding a way to fulfill this mitzvah despite your discomfort.
The preponderance of halachic opinion is that your hair should be covered, even at home, when you are in the presence of men aside from your husband, son, or father. Although there are a few dissenting opinions, we are not aware of modern poskim who dissent. We have no direct knowledge of R Lichtenstein’s view on this issue. You could write to him to clarify his position or consult your local rabbi.
The origin of the idea is the Talmudic discussion of whether there might be different minimum requirements for hair covering in different settings, as in a private setting. However, in practice, the application of any difference is usually limited to one’s home when men outside the family are not present and, according to some, to other private settings where no men are found. There may be grounds to expose ;
some of the hair in private even in the presence of strangers, (see the sources cited below: p. 47 of
Understanding Tzniut& or p. 21 of the
Tradition article).
Our site’s rabbinic supervisor, R Yehuda Henkin, has written extensively about haircovering. We recommend reading his book
Understanding Tzniut (Urim), as well as chapter 16 of his book
Responsa on Contemporary Jewish Women’s Issues (Ktav). His article “Contemporary Tseni’ut” was printed in
Tradition magazine (vol. 37 no. 3, Fall 2003) and is available online
here.
Understanding the halachot can often help in adjusting to them. If you would like to talk to a yoetzet or to write to us for other ideas to help you through this mitzva, please get back to us or our hotline. Sometimes, something as simple as switching the type of haircovering you use can make a difference.