Disclosing pregnancy at 13 weeks
11 September, 2007
Question:Baruch Hashem, after many years of infertility and IVF treatments, I am finally pregnant. I’m entering week 13, and I’m really showing, being that this is my second pregnancy. I’ve been trying to cover up as much as I can, and so far no one has noticed, but its becoming bothersome and difficult, since I’m fairly skinny and my stomach is really noticeable. My husband said his Rabbi mentioned about not telling anyone about the pregnancy, and even lying about it if asked within the first trimester. With Chagim coming up and being in contact with lots of friends and family, is there any halachic ruling regarding when to tell about a pregnancy? If someone asks, am I allowed to tell them I am?
Answer:B’sha’ah tovah!
Halacha assumes that pregnancy is noticeable after three months – generally calculated as ninety days from the last mikveh use, roughly two weeks from where you are now – but does not indicate that one cannot disclose it before that. There is a tendency for women not to tell until the danger of miscarriage has lessened, which is at the end of the first trimester (fourteen weeks calculated from the last menstrual period). Perhaps due to fear of miscarriage, there are also customs not to tell so as not to bring on an “ayin hara” (evil eye).
In certain Chassidic communities, there is a custom not to publicize a pregnancy until the beginning of the fifth month. Even according to this custom, one is allowed to privately inform parents and close relatives.
We suggest your husband get back in touch with his rabbi to clarify his position. Your husband could explain that you are showing and could present your feelings as a couple about sharing the news.
Shana tova!
This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.
For further questions or comments: 
The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.
Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under yoatzot.org.
Ask a Yoetzet
Golda Koschitzky Hotline
