There is a strong preference for immersing on time and working together to enable that to happen, even if it involves significant planning, effort, inconvenience, and even awkwardness. This enables the couple to resume physical intimacy and, if they are trying to conceive, fulfill the mitzvah of pru urvu.

Although Ashkenazic practice is to conceal the night of mikveh immersion, it is fine for you to tell a few people (preferably women), if that makes getting to the mikveh that night easier or more comfortable for you.

Alternatively, you may prefer to come up with an excuse (this is permissible even if it is not truthful) about where you will be going. For example, you can say that you are going to shul, that you are going to visit someone, or that you need to bring something to someone in need. Even if someone suspects that you may have gone to immerse, you may feel more at ease with it left unsaid.

However, if these options or others are too difficult for you, and you and your husband agree to delay immersion for one night, it is permissible to delay mikveh until Motzai Shabbat.

This response was updated 11 December, 2025.