Not all stains will render a woman niddah.
Stains found on toilet paper may be disregarded as long as at least a few seconds elapsed after urinating before wiping. Only if you wiped immediately after urinating, and the stain was a niddah color, would you be rendered niddah.
There is a specific halachic concern (“ro’ah machmat tashmish“) that can arise when blood is found during or immediately after intercourse. Once some time has passed (opinions vary as to how much, but certainly the time it takes to go to the bathroom and wipe is sufficient), this concern does not apply. Learn more here.
We do recommend abstaining from intercourse for about 24 hours after finding a stain so your status may be fully clarified.
You did nothing wrong, since at the time you engaged in intercourse you were tehorah and it was not an onat perishah. Pre-menstrual staining is not unusual and doesn’t necessarily indicate any problem.
Going forward, we recommend taking precautions against becoming niddah from further staining by wearing colored underwear or disposable pantyliners and waiting at least a few seconds (ideally 15 seconds) after urinating before wiping. After intercourse you should wait a few minutes before getting up, and don’t look for any staining! Be sure to use dark-colored towels or tissues to wipe yourselves and make sure your bed linens are colored as well. See more on these precautions on our page on stains.
Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.
B’hatzlacha!
This response was updated on 18 February, 2024.