We are sorry to hear of your aunt's passing and wish you and your family comfort.

It is natural to feel strange engaging in relations in a home where other family members are sitting shivah. Halacha recognizes this type of emotional incongruity in the injunction not to engage in marital relations during a time of famine, as demonstrated by Yosef, whose sons were both born before the famine in Egypt. (In practice this type of abstinence is widely considered a voluntary act of piety and is not a fundamental halachic requirement even at times of national crisis. It certainly would not apply in a case of personal mourning.)

On the other hand, as you state, there is no halachic constraint on your having relations in this situation, and your wife's needs are an important factor, with halachic significance. There is also no specific hashkafic preference to refrain. Marital intimacy can provide emotional sustenance as well as physical pleasure.

This is really a personal, emotional question for you as a couple. We encourage you and your wife to discuss openly with each other what feels right for the two of you, and to reach a decision together that takes into account both of your needs.

HaMakom yenahem.

This response was updated on 27 May, 2026.