Hello, Thank you for your website! I have a question about shomer negiah. I have been dating for a few years and have kept shomer negiah but as I move forward I have been struggling with it physically, emotionally, and mentally. I understand the concept and see the benefit but I also find it impossible sometimes when I become closer with the person and it makes me feel like I cannot fully connect because physical affection is a primary love language for me.

I read the halacha and understood that Rambam and Ramban say that shomer negia is a hug and a kiss, that's the boundary to prevent sexual relations. Rambam saying huggging and kissing is a Torah prohibition and Ramban saying it is rabbicnic. I wanted to ask if there is room to hold hands then? I would love to hear if there is any room for touch in halacha in a romantic relationship, still with boundaries but not black and white.

I want to make the right decision but I feel that the mitzvah is a very hard expectation.