Mazal tov on your daughter’s wedding!
When doing bedikot, your daughter should be as gentle as possible, and only insert her finger to a depth that is comfortable, ideally to the first knuckle. She should focus on checking the circumference of the vaginal canal, rotating her finger once to check the crevices and folds. In addition, she should try to obtain the extra-soft bedikah cloths (there are some that resemble T-shirt material). If she still has difficulty, she may dampen the cloth slightly with water, or apply a small amount of water-based lubricant to the vagina a few minutes before the bedikah.
It is common for virgin brides to experience some discomfort while doing the initial bedikot. However, if she has extreme discomfort while inserting tampons or doing bedikot, we recommend that she consult a gynecologist to rule out any conditions that might affect sexual intimacy (see our article here).
Please contact us, or encourage your daughter to contact us, if we can be of further assistance.