Tevilah conflicts with family yom tov meal

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October 3, 2014

Question

Hello. I am planning to go to the mikvah on the second day of chag (Thursday night). I will be eating the meal with my family, and they will likely have to wait for me to finish with my immersion. The only issue is, I am very uncomfortable announcing to the world that I am going to the mikveh. Do you have any suggestions for a way around this? They are very timely and always eat as soon as the men come home from maariv, but maariv starts at the same time that the mikveh is open.

Answer

In this situation, you may create a white lie to account for your absence. For example, you may say that you went to look in on a sick friend or to do a mitzvah for someone who wishes to keep the details private. Your husband can help you with this. If telling a key female family member or friend will help you manage your immersion with minimal disruption or embarrassment, you should not hesitate to tell her you will be immersing.

You could also call the mikveh or mikveh attendant in advance and ask if it might be possible to arrange (probably for an additional fee) to immerse after the meal.

If you cannot find a comfortable resolution (and your husband agrees), you may postpone immersion to the next night.

Chag sameach!