In memory of Chaya Mirel bat R’ Avraham

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In memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

Too embarrassed to ask questions
November 17, 2015

Question

I have been married for just over a year and as soon as I got married, and encountered my first niddah and I had a question, my husband just felt too embarrassed to take it to a rabbi. I soon after got pregnant and all that awkwardness got forgotten. I gave birth three months ago, and now we are back in the exact same position we were in a year ago. But what's worse, is that now I want to go on to contraception and my husband is to embarrassed to ask, so we are not being intimate, and not sure what to do.

Answer

Mazal tov on the recent birth of your baby!

You may follow the ruling of R' Yehuda Henkin, the rabbinic supervisor of this site, who permits birth control for two years after birth to allow the mother to recuperate and care for her baby. See our article on choosing a contraceptive method for descriptions of halachically acceptable methods of birth control and work with your doctor to choose the right method for you.

Going forward, it is important to try to find a rabbi (or yoetzet halacha) whom you feel comfortable approaching, even if your husband is too embarrassed to ask himself.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

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