Hi, I hate to be a bother, but I need some clarification and hope you can help me.

I am on hormonal contraception which used to work very well in controlling my periods, I had regular ones, and only when on the inactive pills. Ever since going back on them, I have been having completely random bleeding while on active pills, and sometimes very little bleeding when on inactive pills. I know that I am not supposed to "look" when using the bathroom, but since I am trying to find a pill that works for me, I must know what is going on with my body and can not do this. Here is my problem: Most of the time, I would not even know that I was bleeding if I didn't look while in the bathroom, because it rarely reaches my underwear. This means that if I wasn't looking, I would not be rendered nidah. When I do look, I always wait at least 15 seconds (which I learned about on your site, thank you). My questions are as follows:

1) How much can I "ignore" on toilet paper or in toilet water? If I am bleeding for a few days or if it is a lot but nothing reaches my underwear, do I still ignore it because it is not a "flow" based on not needing a pad?

2) My husband and I act in a "limbo" manner during this time, waiting to make sure it is not becoming a flow. The times that it does become a flow, it is usually not until day 4 or 5, and then it's over a day or 2 later. Since we have already abstained do I still only start counting day one as the 4th or 5th day? Since I know it had started a few days earlier and we already abstained just in case, can I start counting when the bleeding stops (usually day 7 or 8)?

I am sorry for the long email, and thank you so much for always being so kind and willing to help.