Thank you for reaching out to us.
We appreciate that keeping the laws of niddah postpartum can be especially challenging. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times.
Some women find it helpful to reframe the harchakot between husband and wife as creating a sort of bubble around mother and baby, allowing the mother to focus her physical energies on her baby and on her healing from childbirth.
Advance planning can also make a big difference, whether arranging for personal physical assistance upon returning home (including who might be available for a hugs if you need them), discussing how to be mutually supportive and make each other feel loved postpartum, and strategizing how to make the harchakot relating to the baby run smoothly (like having a bag and changing pad with important supplies at arms reach in strategic places).
Taking care to sit on a bed, couch, or wide chair with room for setting the baby down beside you for a moment, can make it much easier to transfer the baby from one parent to another. Addressing these subjects in advance with a sense of playfulness and togetherness can make it easier to access those feelings when you face a challenge.
We have tips for getting to the mikveh as early as possible here, as well as a video here on niddah postpartum.
During the very initial recovery from childbirth, there can be leniencies as necessary with the harchakot that don’t involve direct physical contact, as outlined in our article on Caring for a Spouse.
Please be in touch with any further questions or any specific challenges that we might be able to help you with.